Wanna know about me? Well read up honey, I'll fill you in a lot! Then as I put up my posts you can follow me as I try, fail, accomplish, and master the art and super secret natural talents that Mormon Mom's tend to have naturally.....I WILL conquer this... I'll crash and burn, cry, be happy, have a bad day, a good day, a "holy crap I can't believe I did that" days, all of them. So this is my personal journal, but I'm sharing for anyone else who wants to read ha ha.
My name is LaNae, and at 38 years old I have come to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My soul dances in the love that I feel from my Heavenly Father and my Savior, and I have been welcomed into the most genuine and loving ward I think I could every possibly find. I have friends who are in their 20's to their 80's and it's sincerely people who love me and want to get to know me. And why WOULDN'T they want to get to know me? I'm freaking FABULOUS so it's great when others recognize my sheer amazing-ness. ha ha
I have own my own business for 10 years now. In no uncertain terms I was clearly prompted after prayer one morning that my business had it's season for a reason, and now it was my time to close the business and become a full time mom. Without second guessing, thinking about it, delaying the prompting, I marched to my office and sent out an email: "Business closes in a week! Get your orders in now!"
I was rushed with a massive amount orders that I totally didn't expect and have been, let's say "overwhelmed" because I'm too tired to use a thesaurus to find a better or more severe way to say just how high my stress levels have been as I have been trying to get orders out.
I have a loyal customer who's been with me for years and we have become close friends. She and I both struggle with health issues that leave us mostly home bound. It's comforting knowing that I have that person who understands and I can turn to. She should also completely change her career to being a counselor, or I should pay her session fees, because she's been my saving grace and voice of sanity through these last 2 months. She even offered to take over all my incoming emails so I could focus on making the orders and not dealing with "where's my orders?" and "I'm special! How come I placed it 2 days ago and it hasn't shipped?!" crappy customers. So glad and grateful to not have time soaked up in those emails.
Okay, so I'm crunching hard, but by tomorrow evening, Saturday August 11, 2018 I should be able to finish the last of my orders and officially be "closed". Phew, can't wait at this point!
I've worked my whole life. I've never just "been a mom" and that idea of being just a mom is scary like WAY scary...I'd rather go to an intimidating boss and discuss low sales reports than wake up and thing "how am I going to do all my chores, spend quality time with the kids, prepare 3 thoughtfully made dinners, scrub the house to the point to where it hurts your eyes it shines so much, and make today magical?" Ideas? Anyone? Yeah.. me either. So let's back up to when I was 14 years old..
I got my first job dusting and cleaning Furniture Plus in Mesa, Arizona where I grew up. Then I "graduated" to working at the Cinnabun at the old Smitty's (rest in peace Smitty's you were loved!), and yeah.... I've never ever eaten a Cinnabun. Once I saw how much butter and sugar was slathered to make these little sugar/carb monsters I was like "nope! this is disgusting". I only did that job long enough to buy a car and pay for insurance. Once I was a senior I did a work program where I got credit to leave school at noon (heck yeah! sign me up!) and I got a good job working in the Payroll Department at the City of Mesa. From there it created a professional launching pad to start my adult life with quality jobs and good pay.
At 19 I got pregnant (umm.. I must have missed the whole "get married first and THEN have a baby" talk at some point... my bad) so I had to stop college and go back to work to provide for me and my totally adorable and squeeze her because I love her so much daughter, Kaylee.
We started out, let's say "humble" by living in not so great area of Mesa. If you know the area of Stapley and Main Street you know this isn't the coveted part of town. In fact the first night we moved in someone was shot & killed behind my kitchen door. Yeah.. welcome to the neighborhood, sweet dreams! Then next door to us was a funeral home, dead bodies and death in general freak me the HELLO out! You could tell when they were running the crematorium because you'd see smoke billowing... gross! Lock the doors, huddle in the corner with your breathing mask and ride it out.
I got a job at Insight and worked there for about 8 years, then I met my husband, Jared, and he had an amazing job which means I could be a stay at home mom! Yay! I've never had that opportunity. But with my severe health I wasn't sure if I could get pregnant and I REALLY wanted a baby with my new husband. He said in his macho way "Are you ready to BE pregnant? Because I'll get you pregnant now" I rolled my eyes and was like "yeah, yeah, you're alpha dog and just brimming with fertility!" Sure enough 4 weeks later the 2 pinks stripes showed up on my pregnancy test! I ran into his office to tell him and was jumping up and down I smacked my head on the door (yeah.. graceful moment..) he didn't even turn around. He just said "Let me guess... you're pregnant" ha ha
So at my first doctor's appointment they do the full panel of everything to make sure you're healthy. That's when they found the cancer cells and already showing signs of pre-term labor. Oh yeah... rewind...with Kaylee I spent 5 months in St. Joseph's Hospital on bed rest for pre-term labor. I was told to go home and lay down as they monitor me. They had to take her a month early because the cells were progressing.
I now have this adorable squishy, but pukes EVERY TIME she was fed, but tiny big cheeks and doe eyes baby.. and I was BORED! I love interior decorating so I found a lady nearby who had a vinyl cutter and paid a lot to have her make me some decals for my house. Then, I thought, why go through her? I'll just by my own vinyl cutter so I can do projects when I want. So I laid down a lot of cash, they were very expensive at that time, and bought one. Later that week my husband lost his job and 2007 was the year that the construction & real estate market crashed HARD in Arizona.
I prayed, as I do in all times of stress and worry and seeking guidance or at least peace that I wouldn't be rattling a tin can on a freeway exit with my two kids. I felt strongly that I could turn this vinyl cutter into an actual business. I told my husband who was supportive, but not aware of my determination. Started with local friends here and there, then created a blog which got buzz, then I opened my website www.lacybella.com and was contacted by Groupon to be the first decal company ever featured on their sites. My business went BOOOM! I went from doing decals at my kitchen counter to having a massive workshop with a custom built and back-lit trimming & taping table with 7 employees running 3 machines, doing customer service, shipping, and this freaking fabulously creative wonder woman, me.. of course... was making more than a MILLION DOLLARS IN SALES A YEAR. I'm kind of super amazing! I should make a cape...
Since I'm web based I can live anywhere and we both sick of the heat in AZ, so I flew up to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho (3 hours south of Canada) to visit my brother. I fell in love with just how green and beautiful it is up here! Seriously.. google it! There are so many pristine lakes and rivers and the people are like straight out a Mayberry episode where everyone stops and talks to you, helps you load your car with groceries, pull up to buy your food only to find that the person a car above you paid for your lunch just to be nice. We never hear police cars, and we live in a cul-de-sac where my kids can ride bikes and be children without me being paranoid of creepers and kidnappers like I did in Arizona.
We also had no idea that our son who was 2 years old at the time of the move, was autistic. That little hammer on the head nugget appeared about 3 months after we moved up here and he fell down the autism rabbit hole FAST! And here we were, in a little corner of northern Idaho just to find that at the bottom of the hill we lived on was a place called Syringa, who by Autism Speaks recognized as the number 3 best nationwide centers for autism intervention!
I had a hard time with his diagnosis and coming to grips that something was "wrong" with my son. It also broke my heart to see him hurting and no being able to talk and tell us, or hurt himself because his insides where screaming in pain. My business was in full production gear and, I feel like a bad mom, but I buried myself in work as my outlet. Jared however, picked up the reins and was his care provider and went to thousands of hours of therapy. Because of him, a beyond talents team of therapists who I will forever pray for and credit my son from being pulled out of the rabbit hole, Diana & Kynda, we are blessed to say that most times, people don't even know he's autistic. Regressions happen, but when milestones are met, they are even more precious than that of a typically developed child. However, I would REALLY love the day to come where it does not involve me wiping his butt or scrubbing him down in the shower. Seriously... this day NEEDS to come!
So there's a snapshot of my life and what has me come to the creation of the blog. As I mentioned, I am now LDS and in full Molly-Mormon gear! I go to the temple every week, sometimes 3 or 4 times. I crave scriptures over novels, conference talks over Netflix, and prayer over meditation. I also have a huge character flaw, I know.. you're shocked given how wonderful I seem to be ha ha... but I compare myself to others. I see these families who come to church in dress neatly every week, their children sit quietly with arms folded listening to talks, and they have their husband's arm reaching behind them as they beam as the perfect Mormon family.
Now, comparing my REALITY to someone else's 3 hour snapshot is not real. I get it. I do! In fact I had a friend tell ME that I was intimidating to her which totally caught me off guard. She loves fashion like I do (dude... my online shopping addition is LEGIT! If I shopped buying on Amazon, Zulily, and Jane they would all file Chapter 11 without my income from orders) and she noticed that I "wear new dresses every week, have a vast shoe collection, a designer bag coordinating each outfit, and she sees me sit front row and center with my special needs son watching me struggle to keep him interested and engaged while juggling listening myself, or blocking him from getting up and running out." I never thought of it that way. All she had to do was show up, be fabulous, and go home. I didn't think that I was "being strong because I had no spouse to help"
My point is to not pat myself on my back, but to again reiterate that I recognize that we are all struggling with something. Maybe that perfect Mormon family an hour before church had the mom screaming that someone used all the hot water, the kid rolled around and got his clothes all wrinkled now the dad was getting yelled at to iron his shirts because the mom couldn't find the shoes she was going to wear, blah blah blah.
Fun fact: No 8 year old kid, autistic or otherwise, is going to say "oh, you want me to wear uncomfortable clothing, sit still and listen for 3 hours? No problem, sign me up!" So here's a fun little nugget of a story you can envision. My husband isn't Mormon, doesn't mind me and the kids being in the church, but wants no part of it for himself. That means LaNae gets ready and wrangles the kids solo.
One Sunday Garrett got up and darted out of Sacrament Meeting. I searched the halls, but no Garrett, then someone said they saw a boy run out of the church... my heart cringed. Sure enough, there was my eight year old son running down the MIDDLE of the Honeysuckle Road and me chasing after him in a pencil skirt and stilettos screaming
ME YELLING "Stop! Garrett, come back! Stop running"
GARRETT YELLING BACK: "I hate church! I'm going to KFC"
ME YELLING:"We can't spend money on Sundays"
and he yells back as he continues to run while cars drive by honking,
GARRETT: "Why not"
and I just kneel down in the road crying and
ME SOBBING: "come back and I'll tell you...."
Eventually I got him back in church and I found an empty room where I broke down and bawled feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. We haven't had a bad day like that since.. hoping that those Sunday's will be few and far between.
So what I view from others shouldn't be compared to my reality. I get it. I do...
I sincerely want to be a kick butt "Mythical Mormon Mom" and gain all this knowledge and grow as a mom, wife, and home maker. So here is where my story begins. Now I have to pull yet an all-nighter shipping out what is left my my business orders and then.. I'll give myself a day to just rest before I start morphing into the Unicorn of all Mothers.. the Mormon Mom...
I have own my own business for 10 years now. In no uncertain terms I was clearly prompted after prayer one morning that my business had it's season for a reason, and now it was my time to close the business and become a full time mom. Without second guessing, thinking about it, delaying the prompting, I marched to my office and sent out an email: "Business closes in a week! Get your orders in now!"
I was rushed with a massive amount orders that I totally didn't expect and have been, let's say "overwhelmed" because I'm too tired to use a thesaurus to find a better or more severe way to say just how high my stress levels have been as I have been trying to get orders out.
I have a loyal customer who's been with me for years and we have become close friends. She and I both struggle with health issues that leave us mostly home bound. It's comforting knowing that I have that person who understands and I can turn to. She should also completely change her career to being a counselor, or I should pay her session fees, because she's been my saving grace and voice of sanity through these last 2 months. She even offered to take over all my incoming emails so I could focus on making the orders and not dealing with "where's my orders?" and "I'm special! How come I placed it 2 days ago and it hasn't shipped?!" crappy customers. So glad and grateful to not have time soaked up in those emails.
Okay, so I'm crunching hard, but by tomorrow evening, Saturday August 11, 2018 I should be able to finish the last of my orders and officially be "closed". Phew, can't wait at this point!
I've worked my whole life. I've never just "been a mom" and that idea of being just a mom is scary like WAY scary...I'd rather go to an intimidating boss and discuss low sales reports than wake up and thing "how am I going to do all my chores, spend quality time with the kids, prepare 3 thoughtfully made dinners, scrub the house to the point to where it hurts your eyes it shines so much, and make today magical?" Ideas? Anyone? Yeah.. me either. So let's back up to when I was 14 years old..
I got my first job dusting and cleaning Furniture Plus in Mesa, Arizona where I grew up. Then I "graduated" to working at the Cinnabun at the old Smitty's (rest in peace Smitty's you were loved!), and yeah.... I've never ever eaten a Cinnabun. Once I saw how much butter and sugar was slathered to make these little sugar/carb monsters I was like "nope! this is disgusting". I only did that job long enough to buy a car and pay for insurance. Once I was a senior I did a work program where I got credit to leave school at noon (heck yeah! sign me up!) and I got a good job working in the Payroll Department at the City of Mesa. From there it created a professional launching pad to start my adult life with quality jobs and good pay.
At 19 I got pregnant (umm.. I must have missed the whole "get married first and THEN have a baby" talk at some point... my bad) so I had to stop college and go back to work to provide for me and my totally adorable and squeeze her because I love her so much daughter, Kaylee.
We started out, let's say "humble" by living in not so great area of Mesa. If you know the area of Stapley and Main Street you know this isn't the coveted part of town. In fact the first night we moved in someone was shot & killed behind my kitchen door. Yeah.. welcome to the neighborhood, sweet dreams! Then next door to us was a funeral home, dead bodies and death in general freak me the HELLO out! You could tell when they were running the crematorium because you'd see smoke billowing... gross! Lock the doors, huddle in the corner with your breathing mask and ride it out.
I got a job at Insight and worked there for about 8 years, then I met my husband, Jared, and he had an amazing job which means I could be a stay at home mom! Yay! I've never had that opportunity. But with my severe health I wasn't sure if I could get pregnant and I REALLY wanted a baby with my new husband. He said in his macho way "Are you ready to BE pregnant? Because I'll get you pregnant now" I rolled my eyes and was like "yeah, yeah, you're alpha dog and just brimming with fertility!" Sure enough 4 weeks later the 2 pinks stripes showed up on my pregnancy test! I ran into his office to tell him and was jumping up and down I smacked my head on the door (yeah.. graceful moment..) he didn't even turn around. He just said "Let me guess... you're pregnant" ha ha
So at my first doctor's appointment they do the full panel of everything to make sure you're healthy. That's when they found the cancer cells and already showing signs of pre-term labor. Oh yeah... rewind...with Kaylee I spent 5 months in St. Joseph's Hospital on bed rest for pre-term labor. I was told to go home and lay down as they monitor me. They had to take her a month early because the cells were progressing.
I now have this adorable squishy, but pukes EVERY TIME she was fed, but tiny big cheeks and doe eyes baby.. and I was BORED! I love interior decorating so I found a lady nearby who had a vinyl cutter and paid a lot to have her make me some decals for my house. Then, I thought, why go through her? I'll just by my own vinyl cutter so I can do projects when I want. So I laid down a lot of cash, they were very expensive at that time, and bought one. Later that week my husband lost his job and 2007 was the year that the construction & real estate market crashed HARD in Arizona.
I prayed, as I do in all times of stress and worry and seeking guidance or at least peace that I wouldn't be rattling a tin can on a freeway exit with my two kids. I felt strongly that I could turn this vinyl cutter into an actual business. I told my husband who was supportive, but not aware of my determination. Started with local friends here and there, then created a blog which got buzz, then I opened my website www.lacybella.com and was contacted by Groupon to be the first decal company ever featured on their sites. My business went BOOOM! I went from doing decals at my kitchen counter to having a massive workshop with a custom built and back-lit trimming & taping table with 7 employees running 3 machines, doing customer service, shipping, and this freaking fabulously creative wonder woman, me.. of course... was making more than a MILLION DOLLARS IN SALES A YEAR. I'm kind of super amazing! I should make a cape...
Since I'm web based I can live anywhere and we both sick of the heat in AZ, so I flew up to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho (3 hours south of Canada) to visit my brother. I fell in love with just how green and beautiful it is up here! Seriously.. google it! There are so many pristine lakes and rivers and the people are like straight out a Mayberry episode where everyone stops and talks to you, helps you load your car with groceries, pull up to buy your food only to find that the person a car above you paid for your lunch just to be nice. We never hear police cars, and we live in a cul-de-sac where my kids can ride bikes and be children without me being paranoid of creepers and kidnappers like I did in Arizona.
We also had no idea that our son who was 2 years old at the time of the move, was autistic. That little hammer on the head nugget appeared about 3 months after we moved up here and he fell down the autism rabbit hole FAST! And here we were, in a little corner of northern Idaho just to find that at the bottom of the hill we lived on was a place called Syringa, who by Autism Speaks recognized as the number 3 best nationwide centers for autism intervention!
I had a hard time with his diagnosis and coming to grips that something was "wrong" with my son. It also broke my heart to see him hurting and no being able to talk and tell us, or hurt himself because his insides where screaming in pain. My business was in full production gear and, I feel like a bad mom, but I buried myself in work as my outlet. Jared however, picked up the reins and was his care provider and went to thousands of hours of therapy. Because of him, a beyond talents team of therapists who I will forever pray for and credit my son from being pulled out of the rabbit hole, Diana & Kynda, we are blessed to say that most times, people don't even know he's autistic. Regressions happen, but when milestones are met, they are even more precious than that of a typically developed child. However, I would REALLY love the day to come where it does not involve me wiping his butt or scrubbing him down in the shower. Seriously... this day NEEDS to come!
So there's a snapshot of my life and what has me come to the creation of the blog. As I mentioned, I am now LDS and in full Molly-Mormon gear! I go to the temple every week, sometimes 3 or 4 times. I crave scriptures over novels, conference talks over Netflix, and prayer over meditation. I also have a huge character flaw, I know.. you're shocked given how wonderful I seem to be ha ha... but I compare myself to others. I see these families who come to church in dress neatly every week, their children sit quietly with arms folded listening to talks, and they have their husband's arm reaching behind them as they beam as the perfect Mormon family.
Now, comparing my REALITY to someone else's 3 hour snapshot is not real. I get it. I do! In fact I had a friend tell ME that I was intimidating to her which totally caught me off guard. She loves fashion like I do (dude... my online shopping addition is LEGIT! If I shopped buying on Amazon, Zulily, and Jane they would all file Chapter 11 without my income from orders) and she noticed that I "wear new dresses every week, have a vast shoe collection, a designer bag coordinating each outfit, and she sees me sit front row and center with my special needs son watching me struggle to keep him interested and engaged while juggling listening myself, or blocking him from getting up and running out." I never thought of it that way. All she had to do was show up, be fabulous, and go home. I didn't think that I was "being strong because I had no spouse to help"
My point is to not pat myself on my back, but to again reiterate that I recognize that we are all struggling with something. Maybe that perfect Mormon family an hour before church had the mom screaming that someone used all the hot water, the kid rolled around and got his clothes all wrinkled now the dad was getting yelled at to iron his shirts because the mom couldn't find the shoes she was going to wear, blah blah blah.
Fun fact: No 8 year old kid, autistic or otherwise, is going to say "oh, you want me to wear uncomfortable clothing, sit still and listen for 3 hours? No problem, sign me up!" So here's a fun little nugget of a story you can envision. My husband isn't Mormon, doesn't mind me and the kids being in the church, but wants no part of it for himself. That means LaNae gets ready and wrangles the kids solo.
One Sunday Garrett got up and darted out of Sacrament Meeting. I searched the halls, but no Garrett, then someone said they saw a boy run out of the church... my heart cringed. Sure enough, there was my eight year old son running down the MIDDLE of the Honeysuckle Road and me chasing after him in a pencil skirt and stilettos screaming
ME YELLING "Stop! Garrett, come back! Stop running"
GARRETT YELLING BACK: "I hate church! I'm going to KFC"
ME YELLING:"We can't spend money on Sundays"
and he yells back as he continues to run while cars drive by honking,
GARRETT: "Why not"
and I just kneel down in the road crying and
ME SOBBING: "come back and I'll tell you...."
Eventually I got him back in church and I found an empty room where I broke down and bawled feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. We haven't had a bad day like that since.. hoping that those Sunday's will be few and far between.
So what I view from others shouldn't be compared to my reality. I get it. I do...
BUT!
There is something unique about Mormon Moms... they pretty much CREATED Pintrest! They instinctively have unlimited patience, knowledge of how to sew, make home made bread, make carefully crafted menus that their kids will actually eat healthy foods, activities that were engaging and memorable... and I'm over here like... I put on my bra before 10am.. where's my high five?
I sincerely want to be a kick butt "Mythical Mormon Mom" and gain all this knowledge and grow as a mom, wife, and home maker. So here is where my story begins. Now I have to pull yet an all-nighter shipping out what is left my my business orders and then.. I'll give myself a day to just rest before I start morphing into the Unicorn of all Mothers.. the Mormon Mom...
Hi! this is the second child that Lanae had! I was going through her old blogs and felt nostalgic, so i am posting this. I'm too lazy to show proof that I'm her daughter if anyone sees this, you would just have to trust me. Hi mom i miss you and just wanted to say sorry i guess? hope you rest well, I love youuuu.
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